


Terms and Conditions

by tiramiisu



Category: Homestuck
Genre: FTM John, Homophobic Language, M/M, not finished
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-06 09:54:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3130280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiramiisu/pseuds/tiramiisu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Egbert is just a simple city slicker who finds himself plopped down in the middle of Texas. He looks forward to his new life, until this douchebag with pointy shades and a fringe named Dave ruins it before it even begins. John is quickly learning that Dave comes with a rule book, and breaking it isn't in his best interests, until he bends them ever so slightly...<br/>**Hey readers! I just realized I completely forgot about this work when I poofed for the past 2 years (sorry yall, life happens). I'll try to update sometime soon so you don't actually murder me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Bus

It's August again and you're not sure if you're ready to start high school. You just moved here over the summer. People back home didn't take your whole being trans thing well, so your dad decided to pack up and start your new life as John somewhere else. (Well, that's why he said he decided to move. Really he had just found a nice bakery for sale and wanted to buy it.)

The alarm goes off and you smack the snooze button. _Just five more minutes,_ you think, but wake with a start when your dad bursts through your door with... what is that? A pastry? Whatever it is, it smells good enough to get you out of bed and meet your dad in your doorway.

"Happy first day of school, John!" He shoves the plate of baked goods- which are apparently a bunch of pencil-shaped cakes- in your arms. "Eat up fast so you have time to get dressed!" You shoo him out of your room and close the door, then set the cakes on your desk. You search through your drawers for your favorite binder and your slime ghost tee shirt. Your dad says you're too old for it, but fuck him, he wears the same style button ups every day.

You slip into some casual khakis and put on your black vans, then check yourself out in the mirror. "You sir pass today," you whisper as you reach for one of the cakes.

After finishing your cakes and getting ready, you run to the kitchen and see Dad with his head in his hands. You reassure him that yes, you will be just fine, you promise. He nods and you walk outside to wait for the bus.

The bus finally gets to your house and you walk up the steps, feeling confident as ever. You're going to get an empty seat and sit there for the rest of the year without anyone bothering you. At least, that's what you think you'll do, until you see that every seat has at least one person in it. Instead, you skim over everyone as you walk to the back to see who you want to sit with. A girl with black lipstick and a squid shirt, no; some short dude in an ugly ass black turtleneck, hell no; another girl with with a cat shirt playing a DS, you'd rather not. But shit you are almost to the back and you haven't decided where to sit. Shitshitshit the last seat is right there and there's someone in it an you're stuck with sitting with him.

You look at him as if to ask if you can sit and he nods and scoots over. You awkwardly sit down and take a look at who you're sitting with. He has tan skin and his face is dotted with freckles. He has the blondest hair you've ever seen on a guy before. His shoulders are broad and he has a square jaw. He looks almost perfect, except for those shades he's wearing. They're pointy and triangle shaped and, most of all, ugly. He's probably still in his weeaboo phase.

It's been five minutes and you think he isn't going to say anything to you until finally he speaks up. "I'm Dave." He turns to face you and extends a hand. You take it after staring at it in confusion for a moment.

"I'm John." Shit. Your voice sounds so high and now he's going to ask you about that and shit shit shit shit shit!

He just stares at you through his pointy anime shades. He's probably thinking about your stupid voice and thinking of an insult. Then it comes.

"Your voice sounds so gay, man."

You don't know what to say. Thanks? Shut up? The words come out before you realize: "Yeah well we're not all gonna get perfect deep voices now are we, shades?"

"Shades? The fuck kinda name is that? Was that supposed to be an insult?" You feel your cheeks and ears getting warm and cover your face. You mutter for him to just shut up through your hands.

You don't speak to him for the rest of the ride to school, even though he tries to start conversation. Ignoring him probably made him mad, though. _Good_ , you think. _Let him be mad._


	2. The First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John finds out who is in his class... (wow guys this is really cliche but just bare with me)

The bus stops in front of the school and you immediately jump to your feet.  You pull your bag onto your shoulder and end up being the first one off of the bus, despite sitting in the last seat. You walk to the doors of the school when you realize, wait a minute, you don't know where the fuck to go. You're forced to wait until one of the other people you saw on the bus gets off and walks your way. Great.

Finally, the weird cat girl and the girl with the squid shirt walk by. "Hey!" They turn to face you. "I'm new, do you guys know where Mr. English's room is?" The girls nod and walk into the building with you. The cat one turns and faces you as the three of you continue to walk.

"I'm Nepeta, what's your name?" 

"John." She smiles at you.

"And I'm Rose," Squid girl says. Yo smile at the both of them as you near the end of the hall. 

"Well, here's Mr. English's room!" Nepeta says is an overly happy voice. Then she takes a piece of paper out of her bag and studies it for a moment before saying "Looks like we have the same homeroom!" you both walk in as Rose finds her room.

You both find a seat beside each other and talk a little about life. You find yourself looking off into space when it's your turn to talk, but you can't help it. You're still really aggravated about that Dave kid. 

"I am so glad Dave isn't in this class," you mumble under your breath while Nepeta chatters on about cats and art and boys.

A few minutes later, the door opens. It's as if you had just jinxed yourself.

Dave walks in.

His eyes land on you and he drops his bag in the only empty desk: the one behind you. He doesn't look too happy, either. 

"Hey, about earlier, I'm sorry," you say, making a conscious effort to deepen your voice.

"Yeah whatever, just don't talk to me ever again, got it?" 

You nod as the bell rings. Mr. English walks into the classroom. He's wearing a green shirt neatly tucked into light khaki pants. He's bald and very pale. 

"Good morning, students, and welcome to Midwest High School. It looks like I'm going to be your homeroom teacher for your freshman year." He continued to ramble on about how high school is nothing like middle school, you will only report to this classroom once a month and as needed by the office, your schedules are up front and he'll call you one at a time to get them. He goes down the line and finally gets to your name.

"John Egbert?" You get up to get your schedule but your foot catches something and you stumble. Why is there a puppet in the middle of a classroom floor? You shrug, grab your schedule, and sit down.

Nepeta gets hers and she starts comparing your classes. "Oh it looks like we have biology together! How fun! Oh and we have the same lunch, we can be lunch buddies!" You smile at her enthusiasm as she keeps talking about how fun you'll have together. She checks her phone and opens pictures of schedules from some of her other friends. Apparently, you also have Algebra with her friend Terezi (some blind girl with a wicked candy and soda addiction) and biology with her jock boyfriend, Equius. "I hope you don't mind but I absolutely HAVE to be his science partner it is so IMPORTANT."

"Ha, yeah Nepeta, I get it." 

The bell finally rings and it's off to biology. You follow closely behind Nepeta and her sweaty boyfriend, who looks like a repeater, but you won't ask. That would be rude.

You see some familiar faces in this class, all with lab partners already. The Rose girl is seated next to a tall and kind of pudgy girl whose lips are green and is wearing a dress that, in your opinion, is a little too dressy for school. You're not entirely sure, but it looks like Rose's lips have a bit of the same green tint on them. The short boy in the ugly sweatshirt is at the table directly in front of Rose, sitting with an extremely tall kid you can tell is a repeater. He's a little musty and his hair looks like it hasn't been brushed since he was 10. A liter bottle of Faygo sits on his desk. 

There were also quite a few unfamiliar faces: a boy wearing 3-D glasses, a girl with hair all the way down her back with huge, circular glasses and hair ties all over her fingers, and a girl with an unnatural amount of d8 dice were the most notable and in-your-face kind of people in the room. They all had lab partners of their own, so you took the only empty table and prayed that whoever your partner was wouldn't be terrible. You had no such luck, as the last person through the door was none other that Dave Strider and his pointy anime glasses.

He walked around the room, obviously looking for a table that didn't have you sitting at it, but there wasn't one. He walked up to Rose and asked if Kanaya _really_ needed more time with her girlfriend, that they were attached at the hip the rest of the time anyways, but they stood their ground and told him to cordially fuck off.

He walked up to ugly sweatshirt boy. "Come on, Karkat, help a bro out," he begged.

"SORRY MAN," Karkat's voice boomed. "GAMZEE IS ALWAYS MY LAB PARTNER AND YOU KNOW THAT."

"LiKe, DuH, bRoThEr," Gamzee said. You think he sounded a little high. 

Dave sighed, and the bell rang. The teacher, Ms. Peixes, walked in and told him to take his seat, then pointed to the chair beside you. _Great_.

"Good morning class," Ms. Peixes said. She was the tallest woman you had ever seen. Her hair was a waterfall of curls with nothing but a small pink headband keeping it out of her face. She had on a form fitting black dress and pink flats. Her bright pink lipstick contrasted beautifully with her dark skin. You tell yourself to stop noticing things only girls would care about, but you shake your head and remind yourself that anyone can appreciate how nice your teacher looked. She opened her mouth and spoke again. "I'm sure you all have met my daughter Feferi." You had not. "In this class, you will be able to choose your lab partner. Just a word of warning, though: whoever you choose will be your partner for the entire term, no exceptions."

Gamzee raised his hand. "WhAt If OuR pArTnEr DiEs?"

"I WILL NOT DIE!" Karkat yelled.

"He won't die," Ms. Peixes said. "But if he were to, then yes, you would have to find another lab partner or work by yourself."

You gulped. An entire term with the same lab partner? Unless he died? You imagined Dave dying a gruesome death but became disgusted with yourself for even thinking about such a thing. Gentlemen do not do that.

Dave raised his hand. "Can I just work alone forever?"

"But that would put Mr. Egbert without a partner."

"Yeah I know."

"You may not."

Shit.

You turn to Dave and muster up the courage to talk to him. "Looks like we're partners, shades-- I MEAN Dave!"

"Looks like we're partners, gay fuck," he says under his breath. 

This is going to be a long semester.


End file.
